


I hate you, I love you

by DiveIn_HeadFirst_CantLose



Category: All Elite Wrestling
Genre: Double Or Nothing, Fluff, I had fun writing this!, Kenny has commitment issues, M/M, The Elite is FINE, sometimes talking about your shit helps, stadium stampede, with the teeniest dash of angst in there because I said so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-17 07:02:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29589021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiveIn_HeadFirst_CantLose/pseuds/DiveIn_HeadFirst_CantLose
Summary: Kenny may be well known for one of wrestling’s most infamous love stories, among many other achievements. That doesn’t mean he’s skilled at expressing his deepest emotions.
Relationships: Kenny Omega/"Hangman" Adam Page
Comments: 3
Kudos: 16





	I hate you, I love you

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, I had fun writing this and I hope you like it! I do have one question though!
> 
> If you’re familiar with me, you’ve likely read or heard about my Mafia AU series, The Opposite of Amnesia. 
> 
> It’s one of my favourite things I’ve ever written and I just loved everything about the process! So, I wanted to ask if any of you would be interested in another Mafia AU? Probably with some slightly different quirks and things when it come to the plot.
> 
> Let me know what you think! And if you have any ideas, let me know in the comments! Your ideas help me massively, and changed the course of that story for the better!

Kenny has never been all that great at expressing love.

He just... doesn't know how to be normal about it. He starts fights he can’t finish, poking and prodding to find a weakness, waiting for when the bend becomes the break, before stepping back to watch the carnage unfold. 

It somewhat comforts him, when he’s not the only one who feels as if the sky is falling and the world is burning.

Usually that kind of behaviour would push someone away, and give him time to actually think over these feelings, give him time to come to a conclusion. That's usually the whole point of acting like that.

But like the masochist that Adam seems to be, it draws him in closer. He likes this new bit of Kenny. He likes seeing the flaws that Kenny buries under all that bravado. He appreciates every single one of them, as if they weren't flaws at all. 

Against his will, it brings them so much closer together. 

They complain to each other, whining about nothing and everything all at once. 

They spend hours of every day with each other, Kenny with a soda or some other soft drink and Adam with a glass of whiskey, and together they bitch about everything from injuries to delayed flights to their colleagues. They share the load. It's a lot to bear, but knowing they each have someone who understands all these little quirks and annoyances... it helps. 

He likes having a friend to rely on. Someone he can trust with these more controversial parts of himself. Someone who respects him because of his flaws, rather than in spite of them. Adam never reassures him directly, but when they're around each other, they always feel validated.

Eventually their relationship begins to evolve, seemingly without either of their consent, to a much deeper friendship, and Kenny was beginning to get cold feet. 

Adam gets why, he freaked out too. Hell, he went lived in the woods for two weeks. You don't have to be a genius to figure out that Kenny is terrified of having any kind of new relationship or any developments in an already existing one. He doesn't want to get attached, not after everything he's lost. 

It's his own fault too. He chose to break it off, he chose to leave. He regrets it, but what's done is done, and now he keeps everyone at arm's length. Even the Bucks and Cody. He confides in them less and less, taking steps back to protect himself. 

He doesn't want to get attached and fuck it all up again. Adam gets it. If it were anyone else, he wouldn't have let anyone come this close. 

But this is Kenny, the only person who had noticed that he's not alright, and actually cared enough to do something about it. He'd tried to shake Kenny off, but when he was in jeopardy, Adam had still found himself sprinting across a football field to save him.

Adam had ditched them after saving Kenny, despite his pleas... but he had also showed up at his door after and asked if he could come in, and talk for a while. Kenny had nodded. They all needed to be on the same page (no pun intended) if they wanted to have a chance of victory at Double or Nothing.

And so, he poured a glass of orange soda, and Adam poured himself some whiskey, and they sat together on the floor, cross legged and facing each other in the middle of the floor.

It's the first time they've properly spoken in months. It's a little bit awkward. He knows Kenny felt a little bit abandoned, but Adam had needed the time away. Kenny knows it too, reassures him that it's fine, but he knows it's not.

They still rant about the things they hate, but tonight, the thing that seems to be on the agenda is what they hate about themselves.

Kenny takes a gulp of the soda before placing down his glass. "I hate that whenever something, someone-" 

Kenny is halfway through his sentence, when his eyes quickly flick up to meet Adam's, blue meeting blue. Is Kenny talking about him? He shrugs off the thought. He's probably just checking Adam is still listening. His mind does wander from time to time. He reminded himself to tune back in.

"-good comes into my life... I always fuck it up. Every time."

"I hate that I can't get sober." Adam confesses. It's a big thing for him, but so is every other confession he makes to Kenny. "I want to, I know I have a problem. Everyone knows I have a problem. Just because I'm struggling that doesn't mean I'm not trying my absolute best to get better! I hate how Matt and Nick treat me because of it. I've tried. I am trying... but I can't. I want to, but I can't."

"I hate that I'm strong enough to throw someone across the ring, but I'm not strong enough to cope with my own emotions like most people do." Kenny admits. "I hate how I freak out at the smallest things." 

"I hate hangovers. They suck. I hate withdrawal too, it makes me feel like shit." 

"I hate that everyone forgets I'm just a person, and that I'm only capable of so much. I hate that everyone expects so much from me when I physically can't reach the goals they set for me." Kenny laments, in reply. 

They go back and forth for hours, getting everything out of their systems, looking to each other for support. The catharsis feels so good. 

Kenny knows him, Kenny understands him, Kenny listens. It's all going so well, spending their night like this. He feels calm, safe. They've fallen back into this simple routine, this back and forth.

"I hate how game developers focus on graphics instead of gameplay and storytelling."

"I hate how hard it is to pour drinks when you're already drunk." 

"I hate how when I try my hardest I still miss the mark." Kenny sighs. "I'm always so close, but I always fall short!"

"I hate that everyone is so much better than me and I feel forgotten wherever I go and whoever I'm with. I always fade into the background.

"I hate how much I love you." 

Adam chokes on his shot of whiskey, and he stammers for a moment. "You- you wh-"

"I love you, goddammit!" Kenny takes a deep breaths before he begins to ramble. He says it with his chest, with meaning, his voice growing in volume with every word until he's shouting.

"I hate how you think you're worthless, I hate how you think everyone hates you, I hate how you can't see how much we all love you! I hate how much you worry about what people think of you!"

Adam is frozen with shock, transfixed by the words. Kenny is crying now, the meaning evident in every word he says. He keeps shouting through his tears, gesturing with his hands as he talks. It's just so unique to Kenny.

"I hate how you broke down the walls I put up, I hate how you listen to everything I say, I hate how you support me unconditionally, I hate how you care about me and my flaws, even though they make me lash out when I don't mean it! I hate how you're always so good to me because... I don't deserve any of that."

Adam wraps his arms around Kenny, who clings to him like he's scared Adam will abandon him. 

"I love you too." Adam whispered. "I love the way your never judge me, I love the way you're always here for me. I love you." 

He feels Kenny smile against him, and relax into the embrace. "Can we take things slow? I'm not sure I'm ready... after last time."

"We'll take it as slow as you need, Kenny. Whatever makes you feel best."

"God, I don't deserve you."

"You deserve better, you deserve the world."

"But I want you."

Adam chuckles softly. "Awful decision, but alright. If you want me, I'm all yours."

——

Adam's sapphire eyes were sparkling with childish wonder, and he was grinning with unconstrained joy. They had won, and it had been awesome. 

Adam looked at him, and the moment their eyes met, Kenny was a goner. Fuck, his smile was beautiful. It had just been so long since he had seen a real smile on Adam's face.

Things had been difficult for the Elite, recently. Adam had been trying to break away, he had disappeared for weeks on end. They fought constantly. Every time Revolution was mentioned, they would all tense, Kenny most of all. 

He still wasn't over it, and he knew it was stupid, but that moment had really fucked him up. He had trusted them with his pain and they had used it against him. He could remember Adam yelling at Matt and Nick over it, he could remember feeling so guilty for being so weak.

It had been such a long time since they had felt like a family, but finally, things felt okay. It wasn't perfect, but it never had to be, this much was more than enough for him. 

One brother was playfully poking at the other's ribs, and asking if it hurt. The answer was always the same, an exasperated 'yes!' accompanied with a grimace, but there was a certain fondness in his voice.

Kenny takes a few steps forward, covering the the distance between him and his tag team partner. He hugs Adam tight, throwing his arms around his neck, even if he has to push up onto his toes a tiny bit. Adam staggers back slightly, but hugs back and rests his cheek against Kenny's 

"I missed this so much. Having you here, seeing you happy..." Kenny whispers, gently closing his eyes. The words are filled with so much emotion. So much so, that even though Adam can't see his face, he knows Kenny is on the edge of tears.

"We all missed you so much. Please... Don't... don't leave us again." Kenny's voice breaks a little, and now Adam is really worried. He is never vulnerable like this, not unless he is right on the edge of falling apart. 

Kenny gently grabs onto fistfuls of his shirt, gripping tightly as if he's terrified Adam will push him away, or disappear without warning. "I'm begging you."

Adam's breath hitches at that, and he pulls Kenny closer. Reassuring him that he isn't going to abandon him again, not tonight. He knows Kenny heard it, the way his breath seemed to get caught in his throat. Kenny knows that he's shocked at just how much love Kenny is showing him. 

Adam is lost for words. He wants to pour his heart out, tell Kenny that he loves him, loves him so much, but he knows that the Elite just isn't where he belongs. He doesn't think he belongs anywhere at all. Maybe he's just destined to be nothing but alone and afraid for the rest of his life.

They stay like that for a moment, Adam silent, but keeping Kenny close in a warm and comforting embrace. He's crying, but Adam doesn't acknowledge it. He knows Kenny hates crying, and he hates pity even more.

Adam holds him at arms length, and looks him in the eyes for a moment. They were shining with tears, and they were beautiful. Kenny is beautiful.

Adam's right hand cups his face with his hands, brushing away a tear with his thumb. A loving gesture, one that speaks more than words could. It says 'I understand, and you aren't alone anymore'.

He had no idea that he meant this much to Kenny. He never thought someone like Kenny would cry over him. He feels guilty for ever trying to leave the Elite. For ever trying to leave Kenny. 

From the ashes of guilt and sorrow, he finds love and courage. He finds Kenny.

Adam leans down slightly, swooping in to kiss him, cupping his face in both hands. He's purposely using a feather-light touch, so that if Kenny doesn't want this, he can push him away. He expects to be pushed away, Kenny did say they were taking it slow. 

Kenny doesn't push him away, or pull back, or make any effort to get away, but that isn't all. His arms wind gently around his waist, holding him closer. He's kissing back, up on the balls of his feet in an attempt to negate the slight height difference. 

Matt had laughed it off a bit awkwardly at first. Sure, Kenny was no stranger to kissing his guy friends for a laugh, but this felt a little... excessive? Matt wasn't quite sure what it was, but something didn't seem right. 

Nick had known from the moment Adam leant in that it was definitely more than just a kiss to celebrate their victory. He thinks that Matt understood that as soon as he didn't get one.

Matt and Nick share a brief glance. Matt looks skeptical and concerned, and Nick looks equally worried. They speak in perfect unison, saying what everyone is thinking.

"Holy shit." 

It's said in a light, comedic tone, but they're both worrying. Kenny is their best friend, they know him like they know their own minds. He takes on everyone else's problems and carries their weight. Adam has a lot of problems to bear, and he wants out of the Elite. They don't like whatever this is from the moment that it started.

They're lost in the moment, the world has come to a total stop. Adam pulls away to gasp  
for air, and Kenny is panting. They're still keeping each other close, when Kenny breathes the words into his ear.

"I love you so much."

"I love you too." 

—

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, I had fun writing this and I hope you like it! I do have one question though!
> 
> If you’re familiar with me, you’ve likely read or heard about my Mafia AU series, The Opposite of Amnesia. 
> 
> It’s one of my favourite things I’ve ever written and I just loved everything about the process! So, I wanted to ask if any of you would be interested in another Mafia AU? Probably with some slightly different quirks and things when it come to the plot.
> 
> Let me know what you think! And if you have any ideas, let me know in the comments! Your ideas help me massively, and changed the course of that story for the better!


End file.
